Alice In Wonderland Syndrome

Up the ICT3 Madlads 23rd when you search Neocities for lain Not disabling right-clicking since 2005 Pretty big site upgrade, ey? Too fast to read? Git gud. What do you mean you're not connected?! My laptop struggled to run my old website, why did I think this would be a good idea? "Eat ass, smoke grass" -Grady "Man those were some good tacos - Martin Luther King" -Cian "Blow your load then hit the road" -Kailan "Ejaculate and evacuate" -Grady "When the red river flowin take the dirt road home" -Cian "Motorboat tits an give no shits" -Kailan "Do drugs and eat slugs" -Kailan "They aren't (epic backflip) -Nikola Tesla" -Cian Don't do school and stay in drugs" -Grady "The names Bin Ladin and I can't stop fartin" -Kailan "Popeye the sailor man once said I went knock knock and shot him with a glock" -Cian "Popeye the sailor man his favourite chips are mccaine and snorts cocaine" -Kailan "Popeye the sailor didn't know how to spell then through a kid into a well" -Cian "Popeye the sailor man in minecraft he likes to mine he molested mr mime" -Kailan "With only clarity engulfed inside our eyes, Untactful tounge and insightful minds, We lie here,torn apart a couple thousond times, But though the fires we will arise, Unharmed Untouched Unused Screaming nothing but anthems For this underrated youth" -Grady "I cried when I found out Hitler was dead" -Grady

Volta's Code Hall
Serial Experiments Game
Worlds Epic Moment

Update Log


Added an update log

Added LSD Dream Emulator soundtrack to Cyberia

Removed annoying background music from Cyberia

Fixed banner gifs

Added Floral Shoppe to Cyberia


Added some more Vektroid albums to Cyberia

Added Blank Banshee 0 & 1 to Cyberia

Added 'Probably Nothing Possibly Everything' to Cyberia


Added the library

Added non-js links


Added original story 'Art' to the library


Added 'The Servant - With The Invisible' to Cyberia

Added 'The Servant - Mathematics' to Cyberia


Added 'The Servant - The Servant' to Cyberia


Added 'The Servant - How To Destroy A Relationship' to Cyberia


Fixed the audio - now only one song plays at a time


Added 'Volta's Code Hall'


Got rid of Javascript

It's my website and I'll cry if I want to


I used to be sure of what I wanted to be in the future, hell, I still want that for myself, but I'm filled with self-doubt. I know it's entirely self-destructive to think this way, but I can't help it. I used to think I was special, that I was outstanding at what I did which was coding and programming. Young me wanted to show my HTML code off to everyone, then when I made a move over to programming I was taken back by the lack of immediate gratification web development had given me. I could no longer see my finished project within maybe a few hours or less of starting, it all just seemed mind numbingly tiresome and stressfull, but I knew it was what I wanted to do, so I stuck with it. Fast forward a few years and I still try and maintain the belief that I'm remarkable, but it's getting harder and harder. The people who I inspired are better than me in my eyes. Even though I'm proud of what I program, constantly comparing myself to other programmers has made me self-cynical and doubtful of the worth of my code. My latest project, a minimalistic clock made in Python, is nothing compared to my friend's Discord Nitro generator. I know that I should be proud of who I am and what I can do, but it's hard when I compare myself to everyone. It's made me realise that I'm not outstanding. Sure, maybe to the average person I am, but in my own circles it seems I'm on a constant decline. I never found the motivation to become a master in a skill, so I'm surrounded by all my half-assed hobbies. While typing this, I'm thinking of all the things I know I'm good at, but I feel it's important to get these intrusive thoughts out of my system. When I sit down to learn a new skill, I become easily irritated by my own lack of motivation and mistakes. I know that I should learn from my mistakes, but it's so hard and I want to see myself improve then and there. I fight these thoughts of how bog standard I am by telling myself that I'm the best, that I'm better than everybody else and that they all wish they were me. But then, something happens, I make a mistake or somebody decides to be an ass to me and it all falls apart. Suddenly, I'm thrusted back into reality, where in truth I'm not better than everybody else, then I feel betrayed and cheated. Why am I not the best? I deserve the world. What's wrong with me? If I'm not the best then I'm the worst. So to cope with these emotions, I resort back to telling myself that I'm the best motherfucker on the face of our good earth. You can see how this cycle gets toxic very quickly, especially with how fragile my ego is.
Deep down, I want to believe I know that I'm being impulsive in my thoughts an emotions, however they're tricky things to control. But I guess identifying the issues is a good start to self improvement, so that's how you found yourself here. I know that I don't have to be the best to make it in life, and that by shoving this attitude to the side I will make way for positive self-growth and will develop into the programmer I always wanted to be. I need to stop comparing myself to hacking icons such as Kevin Mitnick -- God does reading his books make me insecure! My mind is constantly thinking "why am I not doing this stuff?" but I need to realise that I shouldn't base my own life upon someone elses. My idols certainly didn't do that. I also should probably stop basing my self-worth on how close I am to being like the characters from a cheesy 90s hacker movie

I was framed


Have you ever been told you did something which you definately never did? Well, that happened to me in the most embarrasing way possible.
I was in a wood tech lesson one day in when we had the laptops out (I think we were looking at bird houses). Somebody needed paint to their project, however there was none in the class, so the teacher asked me to go to the art block and get some. And that is exactly what I did. When I returned, all was normal until about 10 minutes later when a teacher came storming into the room to come and get me. I was positive that I hadn't done anything wrong, and I was even more sure of that fact when she told my why I had been pulled out of class. When I left the classroom, somebody went on the laptop I was using and went onto a porn website (take from that what you will about the school's ability to block those sorts of websites. At this time, I didn't have anything installed to my user to allow me to bypass websites being blocked. As it would turn out, while I was in the art block, someone had found a porn site which wasn't blocked, left it on (probably for me to come back to and have a laugh about), but a group of girls had came by, opened the laptop, then taken a picture of it with my username next to it. Fucking briliant. If only I had proof that it wasn't m- oh wait, I did. I wasn't even in the class when I apparently searched for porn. Besides, if it was me looking at tits in class, I'm not enough of a spack to leave it on while I'm out of the class. But alas, the teacher wouldn't believe me. After telling my wood tech mates what had happened, one of them admitted to putting that on the laptop. That being said, I wasn't a snitch. And if the teacher didn't believe me anyway, I wasn't about to snitch on my mate. This happened on the last week of the term, so a few days later it was the holidays and when I came back to school, nobody spoke about it again.
Ya know, this would have been a great time for big man Steve to bring up my activity log and show me leaving the class on CCTV during the time I apparently was looking at porn, but of course he wasn't gonna be usefull

Book-Writing Shenanigans


Where to start on this one.... Oh yeah, I wrote a book. Will I share the link to it? Hell no, it's shit! :D I should explain: I was in year 8 and got approached by an English teacher to be asked whether I would like to write a book. Naturally I said yes, so I was added to the list of young writers. I knew all of the people in the group, one of which was my partner in queef himself, the other half of the ICT3 madlads, Liam. From this, I think you can see where this is going if you've read any of my previous articles. I'm not here to tell you about the book-writing process, I'm here to tell you about the shit we got up to in there. This won't be a detailed description, just a lil summary.
Since we were using Google Docs, we could all see each other's changes live. Richard (that's the guy who came into school to work with us) told us that we weren't to use this to talk to each other or mess around. So any way we messed around by finding ascii art of dicks and pasting it onto the chapters our mates were working on. This only went on until I pasted the entire Shrek script onto a chapter and Richard got mega pissed. As a general rule of thumb, it's time to stop when someone is close to a heart attack.
A more light-hearted thing we did was install a ton of Chrome extensions (this was after the great browser wars). We installed things like dark mode and desktop pets. This only lasted so long as Steve (big man ICT guy) blocked add-ons after 2 days of us being pet owners.
While Richard was out of the room one day, we kept Alt-F4-ing each other out of Chrome. By chance, I figured out that if you press Alt+F4 then enter on the desktop home screen, you can shut down their computer. Perfect. We spent a while doing this, then Rich came back in and we stopped like the good bois we were.
We would get breaks every few hours where we could do whatever we wanted; most of this time was spent on Bin Weevils.

Something else that happened was a guy lost a vote twice then went off crying and saying that we were bullying him (we called him salty (which he was)). The guy's nice (no he's not) but god was he annoying on that day. He made it our problem that his title and cover were utter shit smh.

That Time I Kicked Everyone Off Of The Internet


Welcome back to "stupid but funny things I've done", today I'll tell you about how I may or may not have kicked the whole school off of the Internet. Context: Impero is a monitoring and blocking program.
I was in IT class with the rest of the madlads, and I had recently discovered a new exploit; the backdoor method. Basically, you need to boot Windows into recovery mode, then find a text file. From there, you can go to file>save as and get to a file manager. Since you aren't logged in, there are no user restrictions. So we had an idea: could we just get in there and delete Impero?

I got into the file manager and after a few minutes of fishing around, I found the golden folder. My mistake here was not just deleting the whole folder, I guess younger me thought that would look too suspicious. So I just went in and deleting random files (v smart, I know). Just as we were all laughing over this, someone behind us got a message saying
"Impero restrictions, you cannot do this"

Well looks like that didn't work, so we restarted the computer and were gonna get on with our work. Then, more people began complaining that they couldn't even search anything in their browsers. Turns out, the whole class was banned from the Internet. Shit. Now, I would call myself a master bullshitter as I convinced everyone that it wasn't me, even the people who were watching. I'm actually suprised none of them snitched, what a crowd!
After a fun lesson of people trying to get unblocked, big Steve the IT guy sent a message to us saying that it was a "glitch". I was safe. Of course I was, if you're not signed in, Impero can't see you. When we were allowed to go out to break, I overheard some people talking; they were saying things about how non of them could use the Internet. At that point, I need to know. I needed to know how far this went. So I went over to my mates and asked them if they could use the Internet. Surely enough, their answer was no.

I left this alone for a while and didn't talk about it to anyone, but a few months later, one of my mates older brothers told us about the time he was trying to do his coursework but couldn't because nobody could use the Internet. Mint. I really did fuck over the whole school on this one. I told him about it and he was shocked but then he just laughed it off with me.

Now, I'm not saying that it was smart of me to have done this, but it's pretty fun to look back on.

The Browser Wars


Up untill 1 and a half years ago, my school only let us use Internet Explorer. Supposedly, the reason for this was for security reasons -- apparently the surveillance and motioring software the school used was only good enough to run on IE. Like many schools, we couldn't install any programs onto the computers, however, a friend and I figured out that we could install web browsers. Naturally, this was great news; no more IE! Our first move was to install Chrome. After installing it, we we're creasing at the fact that everyone else in the class was using a shit browser and we were gods in our own league. After a while however, Chrome vanished from our accounts. It was clear that one of the admins picked up on the fact that we were using Chrome and going against their Internet Explorer cult. Without much thought, we re-downloaded it and we were off again.
After a few times of this happening, we tried it again. This time, an Impero pop-up appeared:

"Thank you for downloading Google Chrome" is a banned keyword. Please speak to your administrator.

We were creasing. Did this shmuck really just make "Thank you for downloading Google Chrome" a banned keyword? Surely it would have been better just to ban the download and installation of exe files all together. That was his mistake: not banning installing all web browsers. Very soon, we downloaded Firefox just to see if it would work. Sure enough, it did! We were off again, using our big dick browser while everyone else's was on life support. Of course, we had to deal with the browser occasionally getting uninstalled, but we were having a great time. Eventually, all good things must come to an end, and the download page for Firefox became banned. Notice how I said the download page. We could still install it if we had the exe file. With that, I went on to my phone, downloaded the exe and moved it onto Google Drive. From there, we just had to download and run it.

After a while of Firefox, an IT technician and admin came storming into our IT class because he had been my mate running Firefox. He didn't see him downloading it from GDrive, only that he had it installed. Truth be told, I was shitting bricks, because I had a USB stick in the back of the computer with a fresh copy of Tails Linux. You see, my mate and I are experimentalists, we enjoy seeing how far we can push things. So, since we had already tried installing Tor (it's the only browser which won't install), we wanted to see if we could just boot into a Tor-based operating system (we could, but only on certain computers). We were both worried that they knew about the USB, so when my mate was taken out of the room, I hid the USB stick in the fold of my tie.

My mate, came back in, half worried, half amused. He sat down and said,
"He told me to stop installing malware. Firefox is malware now"
We both lost it. It was just so funny to us that at the very same time that I had a USB stick which could get us around any blocked websites, the IT department was losing it over the most vicious piece of malware of all time - FIREFOX.

So anyway, the message thanking the user for using Firefox became a banned keyword, so we moved onto Opera. The same thing happened with Opera - we'd install it, they uninstall it, we'd install it, they unintall it, we'd install it, they unintall it, we'd install it, it would get banned. However what was special about this time, is that the same day Opera got banned, Google Chrome was installed on all of the computers. We did it. We defeated the IEFags. We were creasing so hard over the fact that we basically waged a browers war on the IT admins and won. From that day onwards, the students and teachers alike were free from the burden which is Microsoft Internet Explorer. We had served our people well. The Partners In Queef/ICT3 Madlads were the saviours of the school.

Wew, I hope you enjoyed that one. This story took place 2 years ago and I am still in the same school and we still use Chrome. It's been a hot while since I updated this site, so I wanted to bring you one of my favouite stories of mine. I have plenty more hilarious tales about the ICT3 Madlads or the Partners in Queef, as we like to call ourselves, and I would love to tell you them. I will be updating this site regularly with all of my worth-while stories from now on, thanks for reading this one!

Mr Thomas -- the most based teacher


Have you ever had that one teacher who was just the top of the top, the creme de la creme or any other way you want to say a fucking legend? Well allow me to introduce you to Mr Thomas. I first met him on Wednesday when he covered form time and then later French class. My usual form and Frech teacher was out of school for the rest of the week so I had him for a while. On the first day, he shared his opinions with us: that teachers don't deserve respect by default, they have to earn it. And earn it he did! He would always ask the class if he was allowed to go on his phone because he said that it wouldn't be fair if he were allowed and we weren't; all of his reasons were legitimate -- he was expecting a call from a company which was going to give him a new passport so that he could keep his job as a teacher and he couldn't log into the computer, so he had to use his phone to check school e-mails.
On the first day he had us, he told us about how much he is enjoying teaching at our school. He told us about how other schools and people in our hometown were chatting shit about our school and how he decided that he would make his own decision -- and he loves our school. Without giving away what school I go to, I'll just tell you that it is listed as one of the top 50 worst schools in the UK. "Chatting shit" were his exact words as he was telling us about how that was a phrase he had learned from his niece.
In my school, we have DEAR (Drop Everything and Read), where we go to our form rooms and read for 20 minutes. It's shit. Knowing this, the class asked sir if we could just not read, to which he was fine with. In fact, he said,
"Okay, let's have a discussion" like the absolute legend he is.
The discussion began with him asking us what we would change if we were prime minister of the UK, to which one boy said that he would bring in the death penalty for murderers and nonces. After a while of us going around the room and speaking our minds about whether murderers should die and under what circumstances should they suffer (ie, was it on purpose?), he said that he wants to zoom in on one word, nonce. He told us about one of his friends who works at a prison who told him that there is a hierarchy in prisons; you have the theifs, the rapists, the murderers and any other sort of criminal under one umbrella, and then you have the child abusers and predators. These people have to be put into their own block of the prison in order to keep them protected from other inmates because they are the lowest of the low. In Sir's words, the nonce block. They live in fear everyday of not just big buff Barry breaking into their cells and doing what they did to little Susan to them, but also about what they were going to eat that day. Sir told us that the prison inmates are the ones who make the food, and they know which plates are going to the nonces. HE went around the room and asked us what we think was put into the nonces food - he told us that it wasn't poison nor was it blades since they were difficult to get into the place. After a bunch of my classmates saying stuff like "spit", "poo" and "wee", nobody put their hands up. We all had one thing on our minds. I decided to take one for the team and put my hand up, awaiting Sir's attention. When he called on me, everyone turned my way, ready for what was coming next.
Through my laughs, I said to him "they cum in it". Since Sir is a bit old, he couldn't hear me at first, especially through my mask. With the whole classed absolutely buckles, I repeated myself 3 times and, wouldn't you know it, I was right. He then went onto a speech about how easy it is to mix cum into a dish, and in the process, he said,
"As you boys would know, cum is a sticky white substance which is easy to mix into things, " causing more laughter.
Yesterday in DEAR, the head of our year came into the room and he told us that he went to her and told her how much he enjoyed teaching our form, and then we begged for him to replace our usual teacher. He then told the story about the nonce block! We were all creasing and when Miss left, we were all saying that he was gonna get fired now and then he told us that cum is not an offensive word, he said that cunt was. He told us that it's the worst word that we could say. He didn't expilitly tell us that is was cunt, we all assumed it was the N-word until he said that it began with a C.
In a French lesson, he brought up that he's scary when he is mad, and that in other schools which he taught in, if a student didn't show up to their detention he would case them down the street shouting for them to get back, and 9/10, they would. Naturally, we needed to see what he was like when he gets mad, adn holy shit he is scary. A student volunteered to act as the naughty student and Mr Thomas brought him to the front of the class and acted his part.
He began speaking quite normally, but in an authoritative tone. However, randomly, we would shout a few sentances. The whole class shit themselves. He then took the lad to thr centre of the front of the classroom and made him stare at the clock. He then told us that if a student annoyed him enough, he would make them stare at the clock for an hour, or until their time was up.
Dispite his ability to be scary as all shit, he is one of the best teachers I've ever had - we shared the same view that teacheres have to earn students respect, and everyone respected him, except for Nikki. Fuck you Nikki.

I've also had a supply teacher for music for the past 2-3 weeks and he's also really cool and layed back. He's one of those teachers who wants to be equals to the students and not lokk down on them - mad respect for that. I don't have as much to say for this guy as a do for Mr Thomas, but he's also one of the best; he's been on the West End and has acted in New York. He also dated Kieron Richardson, aka Ste from Hollyokes, who cheated on him and got married to the man he cheated with. Fuck you Kieron.

An Update


This is an update to my previous entry:

TikTok hasn't been shut down since it is now owned in part by Oracle and Walmart. Naturally, the BBC took their article down pretty quickly, however I will be keeping the hyperlink in my article because I think that it's funny. It's up for debate how long TikTok is gonna last but it should go without saying that the US definately didn't like the fact that a Chinese app was one of the top apps in the world, and so it doesn't seem to far fetched that this has been an elaberate plot for the US to take over TikTok. If, however, TikTok really is just Chinese spyware, it will be the top headline for decades to come;
And I must agree with Muta, it will make for one hell of a virus investigation video.
Whether you like it or not, TikTok will live to see another day over the great firewall of China and teenage girls will continue to dance in front of a camera for millions to see, all while their valuable information is all being collected by none other than Winnie the Pooh and his mandem. All jokes aside, I am happy for the people who have made a career out of TikTok who get to carry on doing what they enjoy, and just in case China takes over, 我爱中国,习近平看起来不像小熊维尼

Bye-bye privacy


In spirit of TikTok and WeChat being (potentially) banned in the US, today I will talk about privacy (or lack-there-of) on the Wired. It's no secret that the big tech companies such as Facebook, Google, Tencent and Amazon are harvesting vast amountts of user data to sell to advertisers, but are we really handling it right?
I will be using my friends for this example; they love using TikTok (I bet they're grateful to live in the UK) and dispite how much I express my concerns, they don't seem to listen. Don't get me wront, I am a very paranoid person, sometimes irritating and irrational, however it still annoys me how they want to fully dismiss my arguments by saying "we don't care who has our data" -- what a naive mindset. I understand that quite frankly it's non of my business what other people do with their digital lives, but this is my website and I get to speak my mind.
This brings us to the fact that these days, many people just don't care. They enjoy the instant gratification they recieve from notifications and love killing their bordom by doing nothing whihc will benifit them in the long run, but at least they will feel a bit better at that moment. But will they feel better in the long-run? Studies say no. People who use copious amounts of social media have shown higher levels of stress, be in a worse mood, have higher levels of anxiety, be more susceptible to depression, get less sleep, deal with addictions, have low self-esteem, struggle with relationships, envoke envy and increase feelings of loneliness. So in conclusion, no, the average person will not be any better off than someone who doesn't use social media as if there was no outside world. Of course, it is completely possible to use social media and not have it turn you into a hikikomori, however I do ask that you think about your daily intake of cat pictures, heated arguments over Twitter and vein selfies.
We need to get back to the point of this entry, data and privacy. Just under 20 years ago, people kept diaries and got mad if anyone else layed their filthy little eyes on them, but now, we get mad when people don't read out inner thoughts. Now you may be wondering, do I have social media. The answer is yes, I do. I don't use it often and when I do, it is for talking with my friends and posting pictures of me and my friends. So am I a hypocrite? No, I wouldn't say so; I'm not telling you that you need to delete all of your accounts and move to Iceland, I'm just saying that you need to be actively aware that your data IS being collected, and you have a price above you head.
What can you do to keep a bit of your privacy while still enjoying the wonders of our modern world? You should have 3 identities: your real identity, your online persona and your personal identity.

Is this enough?


All too often I will go onto another person's website and think to myself, 'I wish my site was this good.' After that, I often create some kind of resemblance to that corner of the Wired in my corner of the Wired. It seems like no matter how happy I am and how proud I am of my work, it never seems to be enough. I will be content with this layout and design for maybe a few months if I'm lucky, but then I'm almost certain that I will get bored of it and flip the whole site on its head, remove all of these 'diary' entries which seem so important to me at the moment and act as if they never even mattered.
Is this necessarily a bad thing? No, it's a natural evolution of my artistic expression in the form of lines of HTML and CSS. If I never changed things up, then I would be stuck in the same boring loop and in the same place. I'm telling you about this because it does scare me, as much as I would like to pretend that it doesn't. For whatever reason, I'm worried that I'll never be happy with any of my work and that I will continue to compare myself to others and then I will become another fucking Fauux clone. If I ever become a Fauux clone, someone tell me to just delete my site. No hate at all to Fauux, more to the many clones.

I'm a real indie teen now, right?


Today I went down to the river with 5 of my friends to go for a swim, and oh boy was it fun. I will be refering to them all by the first character of their names. D was the first one to get in and, since she is short and the water wasn't even up to her knees at first, K and I (that's not an initial, that's me) followed her in. After a while of us 3 messing around in the water, M decided to take a dip, now the only people left to get in are B and H. H got in for a while and B didn't get in at all since she had to be home by 4pm, which was way before anyone else had to go in. That, and the fact the she was wearing white shorts and didn't want to ruin them I guess. D, K and I all decided that we would go as far up as we could go and get into the water from there and have a race back to home base. After a while, we figured out that it was really fun to dive in from the slight height we had in the new area, so then we all moved all of our stuff into our new area.
In the first half of our stay at the river, we ended up speaking to another group of people who had the same idea as us -- or they saw how much fun we were all having and decided to go for a dip. They were all a few years older than us and when they left, the black-haired man threw a pair of trousers near the river and revealed that he was wearing 2 pairs of trousers and 2 pairs of boxers, so that's interesting.
Why am I telling you about this? Well, I really enjoyed today and I wanted to share. The group has already planned to do the same thing tomorrow with one extra person (to the dismay of K). I guess I'm a true indie teenager now, doing exciting stuff like jumping in rivers and hanging around in fields with the crew drinking straight water.

What next?

I made a website that looks cool, great, but what next? Surely nobody wants to come to a site with no content other than one blog entry, a few drawings, a game review and a knock-off Pirate Bay for obscure music, right? Well, I've taken this into mind and have decided to use this place as a more personal place to run and hide to and you can all sit back in be entertained by my vein pictures, existential crisis' and maybe even find something interesting here

So, what can you find here? I will be trying to update this website as much as possible with reviews, photos I take and general blog enteries; that being said, I will try not to overshare too much.

I've been feeling really unmotivated recently (by recently, I mean around 7 months) and that makes it hard to focus on any of the things I used to love doing - things like learning programming, maths, and writing. I've been trying to shift my attitude towards life, so hopefully come September I won't be an absolute fucking mess by the time school starts again.

Oh and I'm gonna be getting a tablet soon, so I'll get to work on some digital art

Expect more content soon

New beginnings

Wow, I finally turned this website into something I can be proud of! Finally it's not just a black div on top of a vaporwave background with a few links and a guestbook. I am hoping to use this corner of the Wired as an online portfolio to show my programs, code, art and music.

So, where did the name come from?

Alice In Wonderland Syndrome is the warped perception of reality - it would make a great band name, don't you think?
Well i'm glad you agree, because my bandmates didn't! We are currently in the process of trying to come up with a band name, one of the members has tried using a random name generator; that shit isn't gonna fly. There is also the case of 'let's not have "The" in our name, m'kay?'. So I've been trying to drill that idea into their heads in the most polite way possible